Soul Catcher

The love of my life... I was thinking about those words today as I was unpacking my boxes. They seem so cliche to say them outloud, something hundreds of millions of people have said about another hundred of million of people... but yet, I think there is something to those five little words... something that makes me think of you. And only you. Regardless of how many people have borrowed the thought over the years... there is only one person it was meant to describe, and that's you.
It is easy to have people that love you and make you happy. Favorite cousins, grandparents, old friends, fellow classmates... people I smile and wave to and ask, "Hey!! How are you doing?!" and then spent a few, friviously happy minutes talking to, maybe even laughing with. But in all honesty... that kind of happiness is so superficial... because no matter how much I may laugh and smile, there is this huge hollow void inside of me, this aching restlessness... the vaccuum of a missing piece of me - maybe even peices of me - strewn out over the years of all my mistakes...
And then you walk near. Like that hug at the airport when I never wanted to let go. Even if I'm not laughing and bantering away, there is a much deeper, huger happiness inside of me... Even when I'm crying, if I'm in your arms, or if I'm outside leaning against Santana's door and your inside smiling out at me, or if we're sprawled out on the carpet talking Cyrrilic and derivities, or if you're playing me at the arcade games... in those moments... I am happy. So deeply, truly, completely happy. Sometimes, too happy to smile. I just look at you and I feel like I could implode from the emotions you generate in me. Above all, I feel this peace... this calmness...
I feel something deep inside me, something small and forgotten begin to stir... and from the dark, lonely forgotten depths I can feel something... something lost and fragile and broken... I can feel my soul, baby. Like a magnet pulling a planet in orbit, you pull my soul from the abyss and bring it back to me. And in that moment, I feel home. I feel like I have a purpose, I have a reason to still be alive on earth and not just in heaven with God...
If I were a planet, I would be Venus... if I were a constellation, I would be the Indian Shooting Arrow... if I were a star, I'd be the North Star... but no matter where I'd be, you'd be the beautiful velvety galaxy spread out to catch me... the canvass behind my glow, the magnet that keeps my orbit steady and strong... the gentle, eternal embrace of the cosmos.... inspiring me to shine brighter and brighter.... keeping me safe... forever.
I love you, Levi.
I am praying for this semester... for us... for our future.