a day of highlight :)

As you have already alluded to the highlight of my day (barnes and nobel,) ill tell you about my second highlight... Babe your meal was delicious, ive never ever ever had a salad that.... sophisticated, i felt like a rich snob eating in a palace, it was wonderful. ,Accompanied with root beer and my bagel thing, i was in heaven. love, i want to thank you for everything.. for the gifts, the trust, the help, for listening,,, i appreciate every moment, everythought you give me and i thank the Lord for you. I thank the Lord for you,,,, i don't mean that lightly noelle, i certainly mean it, he blessed me with the most selfless, caring, beautiful, and talented person i know. 

I woke up yesterday with a sense of,, sorrow? for the lack o f a better word... i know you love me princess, i know you wouldnt change me and care for me as i am and im so thankful for that babe.... but i feel so badfor not having more talents, more money, better looks, a better past, sillier humour,,,, popularity,,,, you deserve the very best and i know im far from it babe,,,, but you love me, and that is sooooooooo very humbling,,, i lovr you with my whole heart Noelle, you deserve my very best because you are a gift from the Lord.  I Thought of our future the whole time at barnes and noble,,, and although it appears to be in the distance, i am happy, because it is with you.. i cannot help but watch you smile and talk and laugh and feel a sense of joy and peace and love. 

I apologize this post is scattered and sporatic princess, im exhausted and need your kisses. Tommorow will be a rough day for me,,,, 8 years since dad died . i can see it just like it was yesterday :/,,,,Im going to do my very hardest to be strong, to smile and stay happy and joyfull,, but i need your help and prayer. babe im holding on the the Lords promise of happiness: You... im holding on to the gift he has given me and im neverletting go of the friend who has never let me go alone. i love you, please pray for me as u read this... sweet dreams babe

Tebya Leblyu,

01001100 01100101 01110110 01101001 (levi)

ps. yes thats binary :)

Surprises

Sometimes in the midst of a downpour, the reflection of a rainbow in the sleeting mist is soooo wonderful.... I'm so tired, and stressed, and upset, and disappointed, and sick, and sad, and depressed, and miserable, and frustrated, and annoyed, and restless, and lonely, and tired, and tired, and tired..... and it's only Tuesday. Holy cow. And yet today, God gave me an unexpected surprise.... he gave me two lovely hours with my best friend. Just a bright splash of color across this dreary day. Just seeing his smile and buying him Starbucks and finding out what his favorite music is and watching him banter with my brother... it was so nice. Just, inexplainably nice. It gave me some hope of happiness to grasp in the midst of my tumbling, churning emotions.
I miss you so much.
I really, really miss you.
I wish so badly it were Saturday, but in the light of my desperation; those fleeting two hours seems so mercilessly cruel.

Just a note!

So I'm on break at work and I get off in 10 minutes and I'm soooo tired and hot which is very odd for me, because I'm usually freezing. And I'm not sleepy but I feel like my feet are heavy. Does that make sense? I want to go for a long walk and shake the heaviness from my shoulders and the cobwebs from my brain... I would walk up to our secret hangout by the grove and remember our memories, and watch the sunset fall across Nichols Hills like a tumbling stick of cotton candy, blue and pink across the dimming sky... I miss you. I miss you every minute that you're not around... I sometimes wonder what would happen if Levi were here right now? I'm never sure how your presence changes the whole world for me, but, it does... I think the scrapbook is a great idea, babe. I have a bunch of random scrapping materials because back in the day (aka Chicago) I used to make cards for people's birthdays and holidays and stuff. Then, I stopped......... I was almost going to suggest it, but, I wasn't sure... I want to, though.... It will be so much fun, I think.... Baby I miss you and I can't wait till we spend the next five minutes together.... even five minutes, so incredible... every second that our eyes lock and I feel my heartbeat both speed up and calm down... it's so surreal =) Baby I miss you.... I love you so so so much....
Will you leave me a voicemail on break? =)
Tomorrow is the last day of January, baby.
Remember making our New Years resolutions together? Remember that night together in the car? It seems like so long ago... and then agian, it seems like yesterday....
This post isn't about anything really, except how happy I am that my AMAZINGLY GENIUS best friend fixed my computer and now I can blog, blog, away to him.... I miss my best friend. =) He makes me sooooooo happpppyyyyyy..... =))
Hugs baby....

Pictures

So you know what?
The picture of you and me at the top of this blog, outside IHOP that wonderful, sunny winter day? I love it more and more. If you ever get around to asking me out and we become official (oh, wow!) I am going to print it out in high quality and frame it and put it on my bureau so I can see it every day. =)) Yesterday you showed me the picture of me, on your phone, and that surprised me so much... I loved that. =) Mmm baby we need to get some pictures!! I keep thinking that. In fact, I went and put my camera in my purse on Saturday and then totalllllly forgot about it..... yeah. My bad. lol Mmmm but I want to remember these days, and pictures are such a great way to hold memories clear and accurate in your head.... I want a gazillion pictures of you all over my mirror and my wallet stuffed full!!! =D Cuz you are sooooo cute.... and I wuv you..... so so so s'much. Like, BUNCHES. =D
Anyways.... I'm gonna come attack you with a camera one of these days.... just be warned =)) And you have to remind me on Saturday, okay!!?? thanks. =))
And... I have to end this and dash off to work even though I don't waaaaaant to baby.... I jsut want to come throw rocks at your window and coax you to come out into the sunshine with me and chase me along the river and tackle me into the grass and kiss me and make me laugh =)) and share a slushie and go for a long drive and and listen to music and and just be with you and share this day with you...........

One month down

Noelle, it has been 691,200 seconds since our last post, and thats sooooo sad.... I found a picture for you :) a turtle and lily, just for u sweet girl. You made my day, my week, this year precious girl,, with your love, your smiles, just by being yourself. laying with you in the sun was wonderful noelle, it was amazing, to hear your heart and feel you close. I made a pinky promise with you today, to marry you and never leave you, and i ment it. Im not sure what i'd like to blog about today, theres soooo much that happened today noelle, from starbucks in the grass to *almost* dancing to a band, to praying at a panera table. i know this, that you are the most amazing person i've ever known... im praying for you sweet princess. you are  wonderful, amazing beautiful, perfect.. 

"The king shall joy in thy strength, O LORD; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice! Thou hast given him his heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah.

Babe, im thankful that the Lord brought you into my life, it has not been the same since he introduced you to me... never forget our pinky promise or our time together. 

Whats been on my mind lately? well besides small things like my car or schoolwork or work,, ive been thinking of us alot. Theres alot to use babe, we have our baggage and lives and all we have to offer to each other and the more i know you, the more i appreciate you and feel honored to know your past. and as we know each other, our lives become intertwined babe.

 

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Our lives are alot like a rope, at times their battered, frayed, torn, and mended. My sister actually showed me how to braid, its fairly simple, yet it exponentially increases the tension strength of the rope. its amazing to realize how our lives are strengthening each other's and how the Lord is in the midst of both our lives. Its difficult to braid a rope of two strands; just as it would be difficult to raize a relationship of just you and me without God.. but the strength and key to the power of the rope comes from that third strand, the foundation needed for full sustainability. And babe, our lives have been tattered, torn, tangled, been acrossed a sea of turmoil and frayed. But the Lord mended our lives, and strengthened us by giving us each other in the midst of his presence, and that is entirely wonderful Noelle.  I cannot help but think of myself being broken, thats all i've ever  known, but you help me babe, sunday was wonderful,,, u don't see me as broken, You see someone who is mended babe, and that means so much to me. Thank you for the Joy you've given me, and the trust, and faith in me... and everything Noelle :) i appreciate and love you more than anything. Never forget today Noelle and our pinky promise, or our embrace, our intimate love or our smiles of happiness, for every second together braids our cord together. I love you noelle.. one month down, only a few more to go :)
I Love you baby girl :)
Alot
Alot
Alot :)
my snow princess take care,
Levi Pierce




PS. Your sooooo cute
P.S.S I love hearing you sing while you work
P.S.S.S MUAH!!!!


Random Project ideas, ill start the list, ummmm build a computer together and write a storyy together

Our Sky

Last Saturday, wrapped safely in the arms of my best friend, I saw the most beautiful star gleaming through the twilight. The sparkling, perfectly-placed gem was all alone looking over the cold, lonely earth and I gazed back up at it with cold, lonely eyes. The few precious moments I was holding in my hands with the love of my existence was soon slipping away, and I would soon be alone as well in the huge, empty world. But before he left, he picked me up and held me high up and twirled me around and captured me in a long, wonderful hug. Over his shoulder, the amethyst horizon of the south had changed. Another star was shining in the great sky, sharing its prism of light with its distant lover to the north. If the first just waited a lonely while, the second would come to be with it. The thought was so poignant... 

Two are better than one...

The two stars are really not two stars. 

One is a star, and the other is a planet. 

Rigel is the sixth brightest star in our galaxy, the early debut with a lonely post high in the vast heaven. She is the daughter of Antares, the chief of all stars, and her name means "foot." Rigel is also knows as Orionis, and she is the left foot of the celebrated constellation Orion. She is the brightest star in the constellation and the most luminous star in the whole Milky Way. They call her a navigational star, because she is so easily located and uniquely placed, but more importantly - she is visible from the farthest reaches of all seven seas.

I thought that Venus would be the planet we saw, but it is actually Jupiter. Associated with the greatest gods of conquest in mythology, Zeus and Thor, it was named by the Romans originally after their god Jupiter and means "father of the sky." It is the fifth planet from the sun, but the largest in the whole solar system. It shines brightly, the third brightest celestial object in the night sky, rising into the heavens in sequence with the sun's setting. An amazing historical notation is that this planet and its mythological fame is mentioned in the book of Acts in relation to the Gentles in Ephesus. 

Rigel and Jupiter....

Star and planet....

Far apart and close together....

Perfectly set by God to share the fall of darkness into night.

I love you.

Your star,

Noelle

Ocean Eyes

Dear Noelle,

Precious Noelle im thinking of u as you are asleep warm and cozy oh how i'd love to kiss your cheek and hold u tight. im slightly scatter brained tonight, a million things in my head at once. I'm exhausted, i just want to fall asleep and never wake up it feels like... The ocean has been on my mind alot lately, im not quite sure why, in a world of chaos, the ocean keeps me calm. I remember the first time i saw the ocean, it was in Astoria, Washington :) i couldn't fathom the size of it, so large in size it was immeasurable. Once day i want to hold ur hand and walk down the beach barefoot with u in the sunrise. I want to write in the sand, "i love noelle" and build a sand castle with you. i want to hear the waves and look deep into your eyes babe. ur eyes remind me of the ocean, so much unfathomable beauty... Beauty reaching  far beyond the horizon... Noelle, im in love with u, never change princess... ur erasing the bad times in my life by outweighing them with amazing moments of happiness babe, i dont feel sad anymore, i wake up with a purpose it seems....

I remember.... Dad's "Projects" with me, he always had something planned to do with me and forrest, take apart an engine, build a kite, make a dream catcher, bake brownies,,,, but my favorite one was my boat... i remember dad helped me build a boat out of a milk carton, he disassembled an old hand fan with me and salvaged the little electric motor on the inside. he then built a little propeller from a tin can an fashioned it so at the stern of the "boat." ill never forget working on that little boat with him and working the hot glue gun the make it water tight :)  and strategically placing the batteries in a pill bottle and sealing them from the water and using a light switch on the top of the boat to activate the motor,,, idk babe,,, it was moments like those that made me so interested in technology, every single time i take apart a computer or anyhthing of the sort i feel exactly as i did as a little kid, so much curiosity to the point of adventure... 

Noelle, ur my best friend... ive given u so much of my past, its amazing. i never thought i could trust anyone as much as i have u babe,  i trust u so much and i know you will be there for me. words cannot even begin to describe how u make me feel,,, i love u... Someday i am going to marry you Noelle, for two are better than one..I thank the Lord for raising up such a beautiful young Godly woman, with eyes like the  ocean, and beauty beyond the sea... thank you for everything my dear Noelle... 

To my girl forever,

Levi

If's

If I were offered the whole word on a plate, I would rather have... you.
And if I could have the brightest star in the whole galaxy my own, I would rather have... you.
And if someone wrote a blank check credited for a million dollars, I would rather have.. you.
And if I knew I could live instead to be a hundred with perfect health, I would rather have... one day with you.
And if I knew that my college bill would be paid off and a guaranteed summa cum laude, I would rather have... you.
And if I could have my medical bills paid off forever and my name cleared from my mistakes, I would rather have... you.
And if I were offered the life which I once had, with everything returned, I would rather have... you.
And if it meant that I would never be rich and famous, and I would live a hard life, I would rather have... a life with you.
And if I were offered a real Corvette and the most stylish boyfriend whom everyone envies me over, I would rather have... you.
And if I could have a good day at work and not see you, I would rahter have a crazy day at work and see... you.
And if I could have anything in the world.... there is no world to me, that does not include... you. =)

I love you.
Thank you for being the world to me.
Thank you for being so perfect for me. You are all I ever want, just the way you are.
You are more than my friend. You are my best friend.
And you are more than the man I love. You are the only man I'll ever love.
Please don't go away.

New Years Resolutions

Places to go...

... Washington
... Mexico

People to see...
 ... my brother married
 ... Forrest with a family who loves him

Family ties...
 ... make my parents proud
 ... communicate more

Everyday somethings...
 ... write Levi every day
 ... make my best friend happy

Longtime investments...
 ... get a new car
 ... get a new car

Just so we don't forget, sweetheart =)

I am so happy to be sharing this year with you from the start. =)

Dear Noelle,
This post won't be as creative as the others, mentally im exhausted princess... ill be so dead tommorow, im just worn out and tired of moving babe. Theres no more strength in me and i just need to hold you precious girl... i need you. The stars were out on this beautiful night and i thought of u babe, i thought of watching christmas lights with u this break, i thought of twirling you, i thought of this saturday... im praying for you princess, your the love of my life baby. i do not deserve you and i mean that,,, im not great,, im just levi. No talents, no style or fashion, no cunning words,,, im just me Noelle, im not much... :/ u asked me for a verse princess,, for my devos i read 3 psalms a day and then my normal devos , heres a prominent chapter that stuck out...

Psa 56:1  Be merciful unto me, O God: for man would swallow me up; he fighting daily oppresseth me. 

Psa 56:2  Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High. 

Psa 56:3  What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. 

Psa 56:4  In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me. 

Psa 56:5  Every day they wrest my words: all their thoughts are against me for evil. 

Psa 56:6  They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, they mark my steps, when they wait for my soul. 

Psa 56:7  Shall they escape by iniquity? in thine anger cast down the people, O God. 

Psa 56:8  Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? 

Psa 56:9  When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. 

Psa 56:10  In God will I praise his word: in the LORD will I praise his word. 

Psa 56:11  In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. 

Psa 56:12  Thy vows are upon me, O God: I will render praises unto thee. 

Psa 56:13  For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living? 

 It pretty much explains itself princess, its such a blessing to know the Lord will always be there for us. there is nothing to fear princess, the Lord is near ok? my darling sweet dreams i apologize for the short post.

To my star,

Levi

Saturday

I can't write a post as beautiful as yours, but because it was a such an amazing day to me, too... I wanted to put up my own post. I don't know why, when I look forward to something so much, that I grow so sad by the time it comes around it almost ruins that very thing I've been looking forward to. I don't know why. But the reality of the brevity just overpowers the sweetness of even having it at all, until I am overcome by grief that won't leave not matter how hard I wish it away. I wanted to say I'm sorry for being so sad and crying. I wanted it to be a happy time, but I couldn't escape the sadness. I think it will get easier with time, to pace myself, to accept the reality, to enjoy it as much as possible... I hope so.
I like what you said, about making more memories to replace the ones that fade into the past. I don't ever want to lose the memories of our days together, not ever ever, baby. Anyways. I guess I am just trained to accept that people are only in my life short term. It's just how my life has been; I was never allowed to hold onto anyone. I always knew that every friend I made I would have to say goodbye to; if American, when I returned overseas; if in Ukraine, when I went back to America... people forget and change and move on... until all I have left is the memories, and whatever little tangible evidence remains to mark their passing through my life.
The idea of forever, of something lasting, is so hard to grasp in my head. But it is a wonderful idea, and it is my big hope and prayer.... I want something to be forever. And I want it to be you... I don't want to look back and say, "Oh, Levi was this amazing guy once... we were best friends at this time... I miss those days..."  I don't ever want to move on from you. I'm so tired of giving my love and energy away to people that don't last. I want an investment that will be long term... that will have interest... that will be forever. Or at least, till I grow old and die someday...
I was thinking about the upcoming years. I don't know. Sometimes I just like to let my head wander ahead and dream about things to come, and try to imagine where I'll be in a year, two, five, ten, thirty... I want you in those days, Levi... a year from now I want to be your girlfriend if not your fiancee... someday your wife... I want to be traveling the world with you... Mexico, Seattle... I want to spend the Fourth of July with you this year and remake history, leave the past behind forever... I want a bunch of nha dates this summer... to push you into the river at our secret place... I want ice cream dates and long walks around The Loop next semester... I want to sit by you at church and at chapel, instead of seeing you so far away... I want to be making your hometown my hometown, and meeting your family... I want you to be at the O'Brien weddings and meeting my family... I want you standing beside me when my book gets published.... I want to be there when you make your move to where you'll go after Heartland, and I want to be the one to cut the ribbon when we get a house of our own... I want you to help me pick out our dog... and I want it to be you who I give the extra keys to my truck someday... (or Corvette haha) I don't know. I want you and everything about you... I want want our stories to get so tangled up that mine becomes yours, and yours becomes mine...
Maybe it's wishful thinking? To want you that much? When I don't deserve you and I have no guarantee you will choose me to share your story with? But I can't help it... I love you so so much...
All I know is I want 17 more Saturdays with you. And blog posts and phone calls in between. And when summer comes, I want the freedom to throw myself at you and the faith that you'll catch me and twirl me around a gazillion times.
I love you.
I can't wait till next Saturday. =)
Your girl,
Noelle

Dusk

Today, i spent 30 minutes with the love of my life.. every minute, every second, every mili-second with her is enough to make my heart feel at home.
We enjoyed the setting sun together on a brisk walk (run) to a grove of trees where we watched a lonesome star. Dusk can be just as magical as the twilight to come, the moment where the day succumbs to the earth and darkness is born. I missed my Noelle, she is my star i hold close, and just as that star, i know that at the end of the hard and long day, she will be there for me always. Adorned in her work skirt and cute black sweater, she is the definition of beauty; so fragile and delicate, im afraid to hurt her. She takes away my breath and gives me hope i never dreamed possible. Noelle, don't be afraid, im yours, and i Love you with all my heart, i will always be here for you. Close your eyes and remember our embrace babe, because your not that lonesome star, your not alone baby im here now im thankful we prayed together princess, im thankful for you and im thankful for the Love and trust u give me. When i was home, and during this summer, when life sent a barrage of turmoil my way, all i had to do was gaze at the stars to feel love and peace. And now when life sends me discouragement, i have a star i can depend on, and its you babe On my small telescope i have back home, i have the verse from Amos inscribed on the side;
Seek him that maketh the seven stars and Orion, and turneth the shadow of death into the morning, and maketh the day dark with night: that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth them out upon the face of the earth: The LORD is his name

The Lord simply spoke the earths biggest wonders into existence. he created the vast array of stars with a matter of words. The Lord is the ultimate creator, and he created the beautiful stars as well as you babe. He created you just as beautiful as the stars because he loves you, and has a plan for your life, and im glad he chose me to be part of that plan in your life. and every moment, every minute, every second, and even every mili-second i refuse to take that for granted. I am here for you Noelle, and even if our memories of late december fade, remember my love will never fade, Love doesn't require memories, love simply creates them babe, and there will be plenty to come :) te amo my princess..
To my star,
Levi

A Little Thanks

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Hey Noelle, You are just now starting work, and i miss you. Not sure what i want to write about at the moment :) there is so much i could write about, so i think ill just talk about how much you care for me... I cannot think of a time where i have been cared for as much as you have cared for me. Out here in Oklahoma i never get calls from family, they never have a worry for me, i never get cards aor inquiries as to how im doing, im just out here alone. And then theres you, you spend time for me not just with me, its an odd feeling im not used to. You ask me about my day and give me advice, u check up on me, and just wow.. all i can say is i love you noelle, i dont deserve this much attention.. I want to thank you for your compassion and concernover me and thank you for being there for me princess, i can honestly callyou my best friend, i love you so much, please never ever change baby. i love you te amo,

Levi

Some verses...

Hey baby. I wanted to blog on break, but I am so tired. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. I don't know why but I feel so... drained... and empty. I know I will see you tomorrow; or, I hope so; but I will be on the clock and the time we have together will be so short. I am sad today, and my head hurts, and I am so sad. I don't know why... somedays, regardless of the blessings in my life, I feel the sadness that once buried me rise up again, and cover me like a blanket... and I just want to cry. I'm tired tonight, babe, and sad. I wish you were here to give me a hug, a long hug... but even that might not be enough.... this weight is so heavy tonight.
You asked me if I had a life verse. I can't say that I do. I opened my Bible for some strength and turned to my favorite verses... and I thought that I would share...

Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who, for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
2 Cor 4:8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed... 

Psalms 139:10 Even there shall they hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me...

2 Tim 2:3 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ...

I miss you tonight so much.
I wish you could hold me.

Just a Quote

"There is a guy out there meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate, the one you can tell your dreams to. He'll brush the hair out of your eyes; send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll stare at you during the movie even though he spent eight dollars to see it. He'll call to say goodnight, or just because he is missing you. He'll look in your eyes and tell you that you're the most beautiful girl in the world. And for the first time in your life, you'll believe it..."

~Nicholas Sparks~

My bible

Not sure what i wanted to blog to you this time around :) I had a million ideas in my head but none i knew how to portray in writing. I'm still not sure what my topic is so ill merge some of my ideas together :)
 So here is a picture of my newest addition to my arsenal of bibles. Tattered, Torn, and  threads all a bare, my "New" bible isn't so new. At my Churches home missions conference in october 2006, i owned my first bible, it was great, i never have owned a bible before then. I remember the new bible smile and the crisp, clean pages; a great vessel to contain the word of God. My first bible is still the bible i mainly use to day; i refuse to replace it permanently :)
I have a thing for old, worn out bibles, i'm not quite sure why, i love the vintage binding and font :) my newest addition came from my uncle from a yard sale he attended. printed in 1950, i'm curious as to its past, was it used at the pulpit? was it read every day? did it change the lives of its owners? I love adopting bible's, although it may be worn beyond repair, it is still just as sharp as a sword from the first day it was printed.
Im thankful for the Lord and him willing to speak to us every day. Reading my bible was probably my biggest struggle as a Christian, I always seemed to become distracted with other things as it came time to read my bible. Things have changed now, and now the words of my bible spring to life and talk to me, its a glorious feeling. This is what i read tonight hon,

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. 

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. 

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. 

And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. 

 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass

Psalm 37 3-7

Princess, it really touched my heart, the bible is so straight forward to me now. I need to trust the Lord, Delight my self in the Lord, commit myself unto him, and lastly wait and be patient... and he'll repay with providence, answered desires, and Joy. It's hard to be patient Noelle, these lingering months are going to be hard without seeing you all of the time, but i need to trust him, and because im trusting him i can delight my self in the Lord where he will give me the desires of my heart :) Noelle, im commiting everything we do together and our friendship to the Lord, for it to be authentic and sincere, only the Lord can make it come to pass. I thank the Lord for you every night and day Noelle, you're the biggest blessing to my heart, i wake up and realize im in Love... but thats not the amazing part; the amazing part is the fact im in love with my best friend :) thank you for being you Noelle, i Love you, without a doubt :) sweet dreams my princess:)

In adoration and love,

Levi

My Prince

Levi,

It is hard to be so far away from you. It is hard every day, every hour, every minute. I am learning to cope with the difficulty and flex my patience and hope, but it is still hard. I want you more and more with every day that passes. Christmas break - those fleeting, blissful days together - will forever be the best memories of my life. I cannot describe the sheer happiness of those times together. They were a miracle. They almost seem like a dream, as they fade into the past, and that is frighteningly sad... but then I see your journal and the tickets from the arcades and your keys and I remember, they were real. Someday, I hope and pray, they will be real again.

I don't know when you started calling me your princess. Actually, I think you first said snow princess, in reference to my ice skating. And eventually the term was shortened to just princess. Regardless, I love that endearment as you say it, because it is from you to me. =)
I also don't remember when I started calling you my prince in return. Maybe someday I'll sit down and scroll through our messages and find it. =P
You know how every little girl dreams of finding Prince Charming? Today in the nursery, a precocious little six year old came bouncing in and asked where her prince was, because she was impatiently waiting in the castle and he wasn't there yet. Ah, it made me smile. So simple, so silly. And yet... every girl is that way, from a child, hoping and dreaming of the handsome knight on noble steed who appears from the distance to sweep her off her feet and into the happily-ever-after lands. This idea was artistically captured by Walt Disney in his original story-tale films.

I guess to be honest, I was never really waiting around for a magical fix to my life in the form of a white knight in shining armor. I was far too independent and focused on the Naval Academy... success and happiness hard won by my own accomplishments. It seemed foolish and nonsensical to rely on someone else to bring happiness into my life, and I was far too ambitious to waste my time waiting around for this supposed perfect person to come along. I remember my disdain when girls at Fairhaven would say, "Oh, God's will is for me to get married someday... so I'm just here until he comes along..." They say it here at Heartland, too, of course. I read a post just like that the other day on some freshman's FB wall. My word. =P I was never against falling in love and getting married someday (someday far, far off into the future, after my career was nicely established, thank you) but I didn't see any sense in making that the only goal in my life. Sex. Kids. Housework. Really? Lame, lame, lame... Why not try grad school, a Mercedes, travel? =P
Maybe it was a good thing, to be so inspired and self-sufficient. Maybe it wasn't. I don't know. All I know is, that's who I am...

And then you came along. And it wasn't that you changed me, or that I really changed at all from who I am. But it's like suddenly, this huge part of me I didn't even realize existed, just took off into life like a jet engine firing up. Suddenly, the world didn't exist. My loneliness had an anchor. My problems had a sounding board. My fears had relief. My unspoken thoughts found words. And my heart, found love.
I am glad you knew me last semester, when I was distant and cold and reserved, so that you can appreciate the difference that I am still getting used to in myself as I am now. Because now, I'm very much in love. And while my future is still important to me, my future is tangled up with your name across it, and that's just fine to me.... And now, I want you... I want to be with you... I want to be held and loved and even wear your ring someday... and those are very new emotions for me. =)
Suddenly, I realize that this little snow princess actually needs a prince, even if she didn't realize it before. Not because she is inadequate without him, but because... with him, that is, with you... the world is a completely different place. It's so much better. It's so real and promising and hopeful. It's okay again, like I never thought it could feel okay again.
And you are my prince, Levi Pierce. =) You rescued me from the dark dungeon of the aftermath of July... you give me courage every day in this new semester... and someday I'm going to run away with you to the happily-ever-after lands. =) Because I'm in love with you, I'm crazy about you, I'm enamored by you... I am yours through and through. Your princess, dreaming of you....

There is a phrase in the Bible, "a prince with God." And when I think of you, my prince, that thought has come more than once. Not only are you my prince in life... but in a very real way, I see you as a prince to God and other people. As I watch you from a distance, and see how you relate to people and interact, and listen to what they say about you... I like what I see and hear, I really do. You're not just all talk... your not fake... your not just putting on a show to win me over. You really love God, and you really love other believers, and you really have a burden for the lost, and you really are trying to grow each day. It's real. And sometimes nothing seems real to me; I struggle so much to accept and trust people right now; but watching you... you're real. And that is amazing. Proverbs 31 talks about the perfect lady, but it also references her husband as a man who sits in the gates of the city among the elders. She didn't settle; she chose the very best. And I don't deserve the best... I don't deserve you at all. And when I realize more and more each day how much you really are the best, I feel so humbled.... and I pray for God to make me someone worthy of being associated with you, somehow.
I love you... and what makes me really happy, is that I have a feeling I didn't have before. And that's that God is pleased with us being together, that it is right, that it is something He will bless, that it is something He has actually been preparing since we were ever first born. That you are my one and only prince... and you're His prince, too.

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for letting me be a part of yours. I love you, and I am praying for you, and I want to be your princess forever... your princess, and your girl, and your best friend. Because that is who you are to me.

With love,
Noelle

Whats in a name?

Good Morning Dear.

I'm praying for you, i love u and adore you :) never forget that. im happy your in my life, and im excited to see what the Lord has in store dear :)

Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
      Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
      What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
      Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
      Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
      What's in a name? that which we call a rose
      By any other name would smell as sweet;
      So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
      Retain that dear perfection which he owes      Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
      And for that name which is no part of thee
      Take all myself.

Oh little Noelle :) during the break i read Romeo and Juliet, i absolutely love Shakespeare, so eloquent, so vintage and poetic :) Your name sends my heart a flutter, i look at my phone and see your name and im immediately happy.Words can do amazing things, as a fine author as yourself already knows. Positioned correctly in perfect timing and context, words can influence the world. Your Name within itself is so beautifully eloquent,  did you know only 1 in 10575 people have your name? You are the only Noelle i know so original babe, and its old french :) beautiful beautiful.beautiful,,,
So what is it about your name that makes me smile? it's not the originality or the elegance of the word, but the person behind the name... when i hear Noelle i think of beauty, God fearing, amazing, smart, love, wonderful, silly, cute, sweet..... and the list goes on and on... i see you babe, i see who you are and everything i fell in love with and it makes me smile... when i think of the Lords will and who i am to be with, i can put a name to it :) and its wonderful.. Juliet's love with romeo was forbidden just because of what their last names resembled; a rivalry of families. she didn't care of his standing or prestige because of his name or popularity amoungst people, she cared of who he was "So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title" Noelle, i Love who you are, :) everything about you.. and its humbling to know you love me for who i am, not what i am.. idk, im blessed noelle.thank you :) and no matter how long i know you, i dont think my heart will ever stop racing as i see your name or ur beautiful face :) goodnight dear friend :)
Your friend,
Levi Fowler 

Mondays

Goodmorning my sweet prince...
It is early morning and it's cold and grey outside, and the world seems so much nicer five minutes ago, in the blurry warmth of dreams. Sometimes waking up, and getting up, and moving into the day, is hard. At least for me. Sometimes I don't even want to start. I would rather hide away forever somewhere safe and quiet...
But reality calls. And I wanted to write you a post this morning to let you know that I love you, Levi. Because it makes the grueling day ahead seem so much better when the still-incomprehensible realization sinks down on me: Levi is not far away, and going through the same day. I am so glad to be back in your world... to be here with you, even if we still are apart... "two are better than one." =)
I am going to miss you every moment this week, but I am glad we are figuring out some goals and I hope that the Lord will fill our time for His glory. Still, I will miss you...
I love you so much. I hope today is a great day for you, and work tonight is safe and fast. I will be praying for you all day, and especially when I go off to work myself. Between smiling at the customers, I have lots of empty time in my head to use for prayer. =)
This post isn't really about anything specific.... it's just about the fact that I have a best friend, and that's you. And for that, I am so grateful and overwhelmed at times. Okay, all the time. Because I don't deserve you, and it is a humbling truth that you share this blog with me. I hope that I can be a blessing to you... because you are such an irreplaceable blessing to me!
Good morning, Levi Peirce.
I love you and prayed for you already.
Good morning, best friend. =)
-hug-

a day at panera

Dear Noelle,
I'm strange in the way that i do not read my bible in the mornings (often my work schedule messes with that,) i normally read it at night so i can reflect upon my day. I think the Lords given me something to share babe:

 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies/ Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. 

I will always be here for you princess, because i know the Lord has brought my best friend into my life. I just have to learn to trust in him, he hears my prayers noelle, he hears me and blesses me beyond what i deserve. idk Hon i have complete trust in him, i Love you precious Noelle, because he brought you into my life i sing a new song, because im happy and blessed... your like a complete symphony princess, :) in another post i  should explain how :)

This was my view today of My best friend :) she is such a hard worker, zinging and zooming around working circles around everyone. I love watching her work and hearing her voice chime "welcome to panera," she takes her job seriously and i love that. fully decked out in her polo, khaki skirt, apron, and Panera hat; she is so amazingly cute. i hugged her today and i felt at home, her soft hands welcoming me and her beautiful bluish eyes keeping me warm. as i write im heating up the dinner she gave me, she loves me, and wow :) wow wow wow.. Today we made our first goal: Pray once together every week; such a fine start i think, the Lord comes first and so we intend to strengthen our friendship by speaking to him together. i'm holding onto that hug from earlier princess, until next week when it will be just as amazing. My best friend, i love you and i need you, could you pray for mom? she's been on my mind alot lately, and idk why :( i wish i could help her, i wish i could be a son she loves....but, as usual im just me and i fail :/ babe, i need you... Te Amo, Sweet dreams precious star...

Coordinating Us

Hey... my sweet prince... I love you so much it hurts to even contemplate the idea of that being gone. I pray that it never will. I'm not so worried right now; I'm not sure why; maybe because I know myself, and I know how desperately in love with you I am; and I know my past... that loyalty is just part of who I am, and I'm not going to leave you or grow away from you. But I do worry, and chafe, at this time we can't be together as much.
I guess as an mk, I know from firsthand experience how time + distance = death. In a real way, it kills most relationships, or at least dulls and delutes them to nothing... And I don't want this. On the other hand, soldiers make it work... they come back to their wives... and everything is okay, even though the sacrifice is hard.
I was thinking. And I don't like the idea of a blank, huge, endless five months staring us in the face. It leaves far too much room for the unknown, and the unknown is scary. I was thinking that we should make some kind of plan.... something to keep up focused... something to keep us growing together... something to make these five months a tangible, visible investment, rather than just a huge void.
I want to hear what you think. I don't know. Maybe a big goal each month... something we're both working towards... something that we can help each other with.. something that we can use for the Lord... something that we can feel accomplished about as each month comes to a close.
I think that if we're working towards something together, it will help. It will help you and it will help me. It will keep us focused and give Satan less room to work in worry and doubts and the awful ache of loneliness. This is my prayer, anyways...
I have a verse for you... I have not given you the spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. I can't think of the reference off the top of my head and I have to clock into work right now, but I wanted to give this to you... I love you love you babe and I'm not going to change... I want to excell at everything in life, and more than anything, I want to succeed in my friendship and relationship with you. =)
Hugs.
Your girl FOREVER,
Noelle

My darkest fear

Dear noelle,
Im writing this at work because I miss you.
Let me start this out by saying, im afraid...
As a child I wasn't allowed to be afraid, I had to be there for my brother and sister, I had no room for fear, for it is fear that would become my very downfall. Noelle, im scared, I shake at night to think you'll grow away from me, that our absence from each other will be our downfall. Ive  had so many friendships where I was told I was loved, but it was so dependant on physical presence. But Noelle, I love you, and no matter how hard it may be, I will always be  at ur side. Im so excited to see the Lord work this semester, to open our hearts for him, for seeing,his blessings.. U make me love the Lord more and more every day Noelle,  my best friend.. Te Amo, I need your prayers,
Truly yours,
Levi

Breakfast Talk =)

This is random, but I was thinking last night about our conversation while you were at Walmart and the Minimart. We were talking food, and you said, "I don't know you yet! I still have a lot to learn!" And I laughed. So... I thought I would put up a completely whimsical post and give you a pointer or two. =P

Major dislikes: (let's get the negatives out of the way first!)
pepperonis
poptarts
waffles
biscuits and gravy
pickles and onions on my sandwiches
sloppy Joes
Mountain Dew
anything breaded and fried
popcorn

Okay, that's pretty much it as far as I can think. Generally, I love food. All kinds of food. I'm very adventurous and have a huge range of taste.
I like Grapenuts for breakfast, or soft pancakes, or hashbrowns with eggs... any kind of coffeecake or bread... bagels or toaster struedels... but usually I don't eat breakfast in the morning cause it makes me sick, so I like to eat my breakfast around brunch or even for dinner! yum =)
Favorite soda: cream soda... or Dr. Pepper... or cherry sprite =)
Favorite dessert: any mix of chocolate, coffee, peanut butter, cherry, and caramel... =))))
At home my comfort foods are a cup of coffee and a piece of toast, a bowl of soup, something light Italian and simmering in a skillet...
In the USA I revert to foods I remember as a little child before being a missionary, so nothing sophisticated. Mac'n'cheese... spaghettio's... ravioli's... cheez it's... orange juice... powdered donuts... lime chips with chili cheese dip... um... that is a really random list, sorry. =)
When I'm not pinching pennies on a student budget, I'm a huge health food junkie!! Protein shakes, fresh fruits, organic cereal, 12 grain bread, horseradish spread and hummus...
Oh. And seafood. I am the happiest eating Italian or seafood. =) Mmmm... yummmmmy... =))

So. Yeah. That's about it.
Now you know. =)

catching a dream

I Have never been known in my past as a hard worker.
But if there is one thing you should know, when i start something, i will finish it. Work today was crazy, two trucks, 4,200 pieces total. normally my day starts at 4:00 where we sign into the computer select our tasks and get to work... As supervisor i select certain people to certain sections of the line as to what departments they will stack. each department has a corresponding number which takes a while to get used to. ask me anything, housewares? department 74 and 14, furniture? 17 and 71... candy? 1.... i  know them all. i then choose a thrower, which normally becomes me since i can throw it fast enough to get it done before our 2 hour deadline. the truck is either sweltering hot or significantly cold and its dangerous at times. I love throwing, its like a marathon, if i start it, i know i will finish it, as a supervisor its not my duty to work the trucks, but its my choice, i enjoy coming home knowing i did my best. i have perfected work into an art, knowing each person's trait; selecting them on tasks that best suit them, teaching new associates, stacking, throwing, coaching, i love it because its honest work. after my lunch break at 8 we pull the endless pallets previously stacked to the sales floor in their designated locations so they may be put up to the shelves. where depending on the day ill be doing paperwork for tommorows truck and assigning people new tasks.
Work was so long Noelle, i threw a truck in under 1 hour, for what normally takes 2, i did in half. we had the whole set of managment in the back, instead of have 7 people on the line, we had 15 and the whole time a kept the line packed. i was so tired and sore, i could hardly lift my arms by the end of it all... an honest days work. i love the chaos but i hate it....

I'm now home, read my bible, had top ramen, took a shower, and prayed... now there is silence, and i miss you noelle. I want to be there for u through the hard times and the easy times babe. i have so much to learn,,, your previous post was entitled "Soul Catcher" it reminded me of the native american dream catchers my grandpa made with me as a child. dream catchers are believed to catch nightmares within its web and distinguish of them; capturing your good dreams and sliding them into your mind. babe, your my dream, everything i asked the Lord for in a lady i found when i met you Noelle. I'm in Love, it came out of no where, i least expected it, but the Lord gave it to me babe, i found my heart, i want to be  patient for you, caring, understanding, trusting, i want to give you my all because i do not deserve such an amazing woman. Next time we get a chance and can do so, we need to pray together again babe, it was amazing... The Lord is control Noelle :) thank you for everything, i should get some sleep now :) Te Amo Mi Corazon... sweet dreams... i love you...

Soul Catcher

The love of my life... I was thinking about those words today as I was unpacking my boxes. They seem so cliche to say them outloud, something hundreds of millions of people have said about another hundred of million of people... but yet, I think there is something to those five little words... something that makes me think of you. And only you. Regardless of how many people have borrowed the thought over the years... there is only one person it was meant to describe, and that's you.
It is easy to have people that love you and make you happy. Favorite cousins, grandparents, old friends, fellow classmates... people I smile and wave to and ask, "Hey!! How are you doing?!" and then spent a few, friviously happy minutes talking to, maybe even laughing with. But in all honesty... that kind of happiness is so superficial... because no matter how much I may laugh and smile, there is this huge hollow void inside of me, this aching restlessness... the vaccuum of a missing piece of me - maybe even peices of me - strewn out over the years of all my mistakes...
And then you walk near. Like that hug at the airport when I never wanted to let go. Even if I'm not laughing and bantering away, there is a much deeper, huger happiness inside of me... Even when I'm crying, if I'm in your arms, or if I'm outside leaning against Santana's door and your inside smiling out at me, or if we're sprawled out on the carpet talking Cyrrilic and derivities, or if you're playing me at the arcade games... in those moments... I am happy. So deeply, truly, completely happy. Sometimes, too happy to smile. I just look at you and I feel like I could implode from the emotions you generate in me. Above all, I feel this peace... this calmness...
I feel something deep inside me, something small and forgotten begin to stir... and from the dark, lonely forgotten depths I can feel something... something lost and fragile and broken... I can feel my soul, baby. Like a magnet pulling a planet in orbit, you pull my soul from the abyss and bring it back to me. And in that moment, I feel home. I feel like I have a purpose, I have a reason to still be alive on earth and not just in heaven with God...
If I were a planet, I would be Venus... if I were a constellation, I would be the Indian Shooting Arrow... if I were a star, I'd be the North Star... but no matter where I'd be, you'd be the beautiful velvety galaxy spread out to catch me... the canvass behind my glow, the magnet that keeps my orbit steady and strong... the gentle, eternal embrace of the cosmos.... inspiring me to shine brighter and brighter.... keeping me safe... forever.
I love you, Levi.
I am praying for this semester... for us... for our future.

A block of certainty

So i've overcome a form of writer's block, for some reason i cannot mesh my thoughts and words together. My thoughts are mere thoughts, throughout this summer i was a slave to my mind, trapped behind its bars, torn into pieces... i used to lie awake at night for hours, each moment, physical pain from a mental disposition. I do not quite have the eloquence of my dear Noelle, her thoughts are her words, her words are her thoughts, when she writes i can hear her, so beautiful.. She portrays her passions in such an artistic way, she understands the world from no mere ordinary perspective; a trait sadly few people have left. She doesn't understand what a writer's block is, for it is the block she inscribes her life and thoughts upon, her understanding of the world a tool. Within these past weeks i've discovered my bars have disappeared, no more lying awake in torment and fear,, no more lying awake in the wiles of the world.. i lie awake in Love, in the bliss of my ever mysterious Noelle Nitasha O'Brien, she's my new-found world, she opens my skies and is proof of a Lord that loves me. My life has changed, my world has changed... There is no writers block in my life anymore, no uncertainty, no restless nights,,, and just as easy as Noelle can write a beautiful piece of art on paper, she has wrote love all over my heart. She's such an amazing young woman, i love her and with Lord's help someday i will marry her.

The Road Less Traveled By

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.