My Prince

Levi,

It is hard to be so far away from you. It is hard every day, every hour, every minute. I am learning to cope with the difficulty and flex my patience and hope, but it is still hard. I want you more and more with every day that passes. Christmas break - those fleeting, blissful days together - will forever be the best memories of my life. I cannot describe the sheer happiness of those times together. They were a miracle. They almost seem like a dream, as they fade into the past, and that is frighteningly sad... but then I see your journal and the tickets from the arcades and your keys and I remember, they were real. Someday, I hope and pray, they will be real again.

I don't know when you started calling me your princess. Actually, I think you first said snow princess, in reference to my ice skating. And eventually the term was shortened to just princess. Regardless, I love that endearment as you say it, because it is from you to me. =)
I also don't remember when I started calling you my prince in return. Maybe someday I'll sit down and scroll through our messages and find it. =P
You know how every little girl dreams of finding Prince Charming? Today in the nursery, a precocious little six year old came bouncing in and asked where her prince was, because she was impatiently waiting in the castle and he wasn't there yet. Ah, it made me smile. So simple, so silly. And yet... every girl is that way, from a child, hoping and dreaming of the handsome knight on noble steed who appears from the distance to sweep her off her feet and into the happily-ever-after lands. This idea was artistically captured by Walt Disney in his original story-tale films.

I guess to be honest, I was never really waiting around for a magical fix to my life in the form of a white knight in shining armor. I was far too independent and focused on the Naval Academy... success and happiness hard won by my own accomplishments. It seemed foolish and nonsensical to rely on someone else to bring happiness into my life, and I was far too ambitious to waste my time waiting around for this supposed perfect person to come along. I remember my disdain when girls at Fairhaven would say, "Oh, God's will is for me to get married someday... so I'm just here until he comes along..." They say it here at Heartland, too, of course. I read a post just like that the other day on some freshman's FB wall. My word. =P I was never against falling in love and getting married someday (someday far, far off into the future, after my career was nicely established, thank you) but I didn't see any sense in making that the only goal in my life. Sex. Kids. Housework. Really? Lame, lame, lame... Why not try grad school, a Mercedes, travel? =P
Maybe it was a good thing, to be so inspired and self-sufficient. Maybe it wasn't. I don't know. All I know is, that's who I am...

And then you came along. And it wasn't that you changed me, or that I really changed at all from who I am. But it's like suddenly, this huge part of me I didn't even realize existed, just took off into life like a jet engine firing up. Suddenly, the world didn't exist. My loneliness had an anchor. My problems had a sounding board. My fears had relief. My unspoken thoughts found words. And my heart, found love.
I am glad you knew me last semester, when I was distant and cold and reserved, so that you can appreciate the difference that I am still getting used to in myself as I am now. Because now, I'm very much in love. And while my future is still important to me, my future is tangled up with your name across it, and that's just fine to me.... And now, I want you... I want to be with you... I want to be held and loved and even wear your ring someday... and those are very new emotions for me. =)
Suddenly, I realize that this little snow princess actually needs a prince, even if she didn't realize it before. Not because she is inadequate without him, but because... with him, that is, with you... the world is a completely different place. It's so much better. It's so real and promising and hopeful. It's okay again, like I never thought it could feel okay again.
And you are my prince, Levi Pierce. =) You rescued me from the dark dungeon of the aftermath of July... you give me courage every day in this new semester... and someday I'm going to run away with you to the happily-ever-after lands. =) Because I'm in love with you, I'm crazy about you, I'm enamored by you... I am yours through and through. Your princess, dreaming of you....

There is a phrase in the Bible, "a prince with God." And when I think of you, my prince, that thought has come more than once. Not only are you my prince in life... but in a very real way, I see you as a prince to God and other people. As I watch you from a distance, and see how you relate to people and interact, and listen to what they say about you... I like what I see and hear, I really do. You're not just all talk... your not fake... your not just putting on a show to win me over. You really love God, and you really love other believers, and you really have a burden for the lost, and you really are trying to grow each day. It's real. And sometimes nothing seems real to me; I struggle so much to accept and trust people right now; but watching you... you're real. And that is amazing. Proverbs 31 talks about the perfect lady, but it also references her husband as a man who sits in the gates of the city among the elders. She didn't settle; she chose the very best. And I don't deserve the best... I don't deserve you at all. And when I realize more and more each day how much you really are the best, I feel so humbled.... and I pray for God to make me someone worthy of being associated with you, somehow.
I love you... and what makes me really happy, is that I have a feeling I didn't have before. And that's that God is pleased with us being together, that it is right, that it is something He will bless, that it is something He has actually been preparing since we were ever first born. That you are my one and only prince... and you're His prince, too.

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for letting me be a part of yours. I love you, and I am praying for you, and I want to be your princess forever... your princess, and your girl, and your best friend. Because that is who you are to me.

With love,
Noelle