Patience

Dear Noelle,

Im thankful for you. Thankful for who you are, for your compassion, your care, your love, your selflessness, your encouragment, and how amazingh you truly are. Today,,, as scary as it was,, im thankful for the warning given. I love oyu and i always will noelle, im thankful for how well we can work together to think about things logically and pray about decisions. You'r right, we did stop the verses for each other babe, and i think thats what we really need right now.. so i have one that i wrote on my hand yesterday when my body was exhausted in everyway imaginable, its from my favorite book of the bible:

Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.
Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.
Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.
Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy. 

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation. 

James 5:8-12

There is so much to those verses babe, it makes me want to study into it more, its almost like a plea, he's pleaing diligently for them to have patience. A warning for patience...

Its so hard to endure, to wake up everymorning and believe everything will be ok, that i can keep going,,, im not invincible, life get so hard... james 5 just gives me so hope, like you said earlier, just a few more weeks, just a few more, its ok,,,, the Lord reminds me,"just a little further, almost there Levi." Job didn't have it easy, why should I? im so thankfull the Lord has pity and mercy towards me and gives me trials to build me and give me patience. Noelle, lets not forget today, lets not take it for granted, we are going to be better than the day before. I love you precious noelle, ill always be here for you just as your there for me. tommorow and friday we need to work hard ok? their our hardest days, lets use them to  our benefit and do our best to make the best of them. Tebya ochen Leblyu,

Your bestest best friend,

-Levi

The Other Side

There is the side of who I am that others see.... and the side of who I am when no one else sees.... =)

I found my old rebellious pictures and was amused... I thought you would smile. Oh I miss my blonde hair!!!

Your crazy stupid little girl.....

Rigel <3

Yeah..... shhh.... don't tell!!! lol =P

A web of thankyou's

As a kid, i was intrigued by spiders. Their solitary characteristics, mystery, and even the fear they bestowed was so interesting. I remember hours of time spent behind our garage on a spider hunt, scouring tho nooks and crannys for a trace of web. I felt so much like a spider when i was younger, i never wanted to be noticed, never, for problems arise if i was discovered. I'm not sure what this has to do with anything but its a random memory i thought of :) when i read your poems, notes, and posts, the word intricate comes to mind. spider silk has the potential to lift things well beyond the weight of the spider, its truly a marvel of nature that God created, to have something and so delicate produce so much strength. Every word you write is "spun" in such a way it is truly a marvel noelle, soooo very elegant and intelligent, every word connects in such a way that it creates a mesmerizing piece of art. Noelle, thank you for today, thank you  for your notes, your time sacrificed for me, your love, your beautiful words of encouragement; for just simply being yourself... Ill never forget today, as i was sitting by my bed, my head hurting, my strength drained from my body and the cloud of sadness covering my body like dust on a grave. I'll never forget sitting by my bed, as i read your letters, and your post and feeling my sadness slowly brushed away as your balance and precision of words struck my heart with happiness. I envy your talent, your words of encouragement, because i wish i could stamp in writing what you mean to me, and encourage you the same way you are there for me in your words.

Today is exactly what i needed...

Not the sickness nor the pain, but the cure to it.

I needed my girl, the way her eyes show love and compassion, the way she is concerned, her care, her words, her delicate words infused with strength and encouragement. 

Thank you precious noelle, today felt like saturday, you were with me every second of the day and im at a loss of words, all i can say is i thank you princess. 

Darling thank you....

YOUR love forever, 

Levi

Surprises

My sweet prince,
You made my Thursday so incredible. I cannot believe that you were up at 5am and went and bought me coffee. Speechless... stunned... so happy. I don't deserve it. You're so incredible. Your kindness, the surprise, the initiative and originality of it - there aren't words to say how wonderful it was. Thank you.
I woke up today with the determination to try to do something for you in return. I got out of bed and stumbled to the desk to write you a post, but when I opened the lid... I found a letter from my best friend. It was incredible, that surprise, seeing it lie there so soft and hopeful. I didn't know you'd even got out my computer once you realized it was dead. I picked it up, and saw my name in your handwriting... and when I opened it, the exact scent of you was released into the still, dark morning air. It was.... incredible.... I just held it and breathed it in and let the tears fall, because it was almost as if you were behind me, so close, and if I just turned around I'd be wrapped in a hug.... It was so precious. Thank you. It was the most wonderful surprise, these two morning, waking up to something unexpected and extraordinary from my prince...
I love you.
I hope that today, I helped a small bit. I couldn't leave campus to do anything really amazing like coffee but... I could blog and write you a note and bring you medicine and some food. Oh, I wanted to wrap you in a hug so badly. You looked so sick... so pale and sad and weak... I I almost really did hug you. I wish I could tuck you in bed, and make you some warm milk with honey and nutmeg, and curl up against you and sing you to sleep.... mmm. Someday, baby. =) Someday soon, okay? Please?
I love you.

Levi Pierce

If this is the last post I write,

Let it be honest... let it be true...

If this is the last post I get to write,

I want it to say that I love you.

I've been thinking lately

How you and I first met.

About the shouts and laughter

As thundrous as a jet.

I think of pain and heartache

My sorrow and my fear

But in the darkness, suddenly

I looked and you were there.

I don't know why you saw me

I don't know what you thought

I only know I loved you

This feeling that you brought.

You made me safe and quiet

You made me smile and blush

You took the noise and chaos

You made the whole world hush.

If this is the last post I write,

Let it be honest... let it be true...

If this is the last post I ever write,

I want it to say that I love you.

I don't know why you walked away

Or why it hurt so bad

I know you slipped into the crowd

But now my heart you had.

The months our lives when on their own

They made no difference when

That day I found you just by chance

And found  my heart again.

Oh do you think that it was chance?

I think that God was there.

He knew our lives were meants to be

Intwined, our stories shared.

If this is the last post I write,

Let it be honest... let it be true...

If this is the last post I get to write,

I want it to say that I love you.

It doesn't matter that I left

And that the months went by

Because that distance was the key

That drew your heart to mine.

Do you remember that first time

You told me I should come?

You'd fallen for this broken girl

And begged her to be strong.

And she was strong, and came for you...

For everyone, it seemed...

But only you, the reason why,

The light that brightly beamed....

If this is the last post I write,

Let it be honest... let it be true...

If this is the last post I get to write,

I want it to say that I love you.

Of Christmas break, what can I write?

I cannot tell the bliss

Of you and me and hours spent,

The hugs, the blog, our kiss...

I cannot write about it yet

My heart is still too young

To capture all those memories

And write them in a song.

But if I wrote a song for you,

I'd feel like Juliet.

That love as strong as ours is still

Love fated for regret.

They'll kill us, prince, if they knew how

You made my heart so calm

They'd kill me if they knew that it was

You who kept me strong.

But if this is the last post I write,

I want it honest, I want it true...

And if this is the last post I ever write,

I'd scream the truth that I love you.

If I could take a star and make

A wish that would come true

I'd pick your star and call it mine,

So I could be with you.

I'd be with you forever, love,

No matter what the cost.

Because I found my story's

Wrapped in yours forever lost.

I want to spend a thousand days

A thousand night against

The safety of your warm embrace

And taste your sweet, sweet lips.

I want to be your girl, love...

I want to know I'm yours...

I want this song to be okay,

I just want to be yours.

If this is the last post I write,

Let it be honest... let it be true...

If this is the last post I ever write,

I'm glad that it says, I love you.

Today

Precious noelle, i love you... please don't be sorry over something you cannot control. Please do not be sad, im here... all i can ask is for you not to push me away. I wish courtney was not here, she's a snob,loud,  she's a flirt, and she's snoopy and the very same kind of person you find in highschool freshman. Noelle, there is no one i would rather talk to than you :( im sorry your day was rough and your sad :( your so strong,,, ur fighting exhaustion and the pang of hunger. this semester is good for us, it'll mke us become even more grateful of each other, and i'm not going to allow a few months to pry each other apart. i agree, we need to be more careful with our time together, i think thus far we have been very smart about it, but it could stray to the point where we may slip up. Noelle, im praying for you.. remember this, im never leaving you. remember our pinky promise..
You are far from broken preciious princess.. you are so smart, you are not the average girl thank goodness. you thinkk with your brain and have so much wisdom and intellect. your gorgeous and beautiful, God-fearing, and your simply yourself... Thursdays are so hard noelle, and fridays, nothing will stop that, no matter how much    coffee or sleep i get, i cannot bandage exhaustion from  the weeks previous. Babe, nnno matter the distance, im here.. im your friend forever. Yesterday was so amazing noelle.. movies with my best friend and her brother :) bliss... favorite part? you standing on my toes and smiling at me with ur beautiful smile and giving me the best hug in the world. i fell aleep to that memory, and im never letting go of it. I never regret falling in love with you, because every single day and youve shown me love i have never imagined possible... everyday has been better than the dayy before princess, and iim so grateful to have you in my life.. noelle, the coffee, the stick, walking you to class, coming here to your work,,,  thats not even a fraction of what you have done for me... consistantly you have wrote sweet blogs, given me panera, asked me about my day, listened to me, helped me... cleaned santanna, the most amazing and rxprnsive coat and scarf ive ever owned, gave me hope, and gave me a place to feel at home in your heart.. u trust me and the Lord brought you into my life noelle, i cannot help but thank him for bringing you into  my  life. im mad courtny robbed my time with you, but it's ok, because i know i have my whole life with you noelle, and who knows what the Lord has planned for us, it may be as simple as an    apartment in the city or a cozy house by the ocean, but one thing i know, i dont care of the life circumstances, i dont care where im at or how hard the brevities of life may be,,, because all i need is the Lord and you at my side to help me thr
ought the shadows i may face. You got me through today princess, i enjoy doing things for you, i enjoy making you smile and trying to be sweet, i enjoy our conversations and sitting next to you in speech, i enjoy sitting with you and your  brother and sister, i enjoy our intimate times of love, and the soft soft kisses at the movies,  i enjoy watching you work sooo very hard at work.. you know? i would hire you to work for me at my work babe, you would work circles around the guys i work with :) todays sermon was exactly what i needed for a thursday and friday, things will be hard, and things will be rough, but expect them, look ahead, and get out of the way and let the  Lord move.. i expect school to be hard baby, and not seeing you as often to be hard but i look ahead and i see my future with you, and it is truly amazing... and i just need to watch the Lord work in our lives babe, he has done so much for us as it is. we need too start thinking about scrapbook ideas babe, i have a request, i want some of your drawings in it, i loved watching you draw the rolling hills and trees in class today, you are sooo very talented.thank you for everything.. i enjoyed my day with you princess, te amo,

With all love,
to my best friend,
Levi

So far apart

It's really sad that I'm so depressed right now. You came all the way to my Panera from the school, took a day off of work to just be within my view, and yet I'm so sad I could just walk away from break early so I could go cry...

And yet we're so far apart. You're talking with Courtney, as if she doesn't get enough attention from every single guy that works here or walks through the doors, as if she isn't the popular new hire that is stealing all my h
ours. You're so unreachable. You're so far away, it's like there is this huge void between us and I don't know why. I can't talk to you, even before she came, all I could do was look at you and ache for the giant lack of words in my power... just this huge sadness.
I am sorry.
I am sorry because thursdays are just horrible and there's nothing to do about it. Or maybe I'm just horrible, because no measure of wonder and compassion and kindness can fix this stupid broken girl. Maybe. It wouldn't surprise me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry my computer broke and Ic an't blog.
I'm sorry my RA will be coming tonight and I didn't think to tell you.
I'm sorry that I want more than I can have.
I'm sorry about the car crash that meant we can't be together, because of me.
I'm sorry you fell in love with me.
I'm sorry you're so wonderful and I'm so horrible.
I'm so sorry that I'm alive and not dead. I just wish I were.
I thought that desire would be gone forever, but it's back. It's back, and it keeps styaing here, and I hate it. I hate it but it's true and it's real.

I'm just really sorry, Levi.
Please go away so I can't hurt you.
Please go away so you can't hurt me.
Please.