Just a Verse

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1

There are things you do that really hurt me. For lots of reasons. My past. Even just who I am. My problem is that I focus on those things and let them tear me down and blow us apart. God gave me this verse Sunday. I may not be a wise woman but I do know that you are my home now, and it is going to be a lot of my own choice whether we are growing closer or falling apart, in the way how I react to things.... Being in a relationship is all new for me, Levi. I'm sorry for the times I fail you. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for never giving up on me.

Catching up...

Not that this post would have any meaning,, seeing as it is thought that i do not care about it.... but within all regards i do.. i've never blogged in my life before this nor have a heard of it. It seems a crude diary of memories, thoughts and emotions, and the attempt to inscribe it in the "cloud" the cyber infrastructure for personal use. Otherwords, its ours,,, its ment to be mobile, a place where we can meet halfway in a sense, no matter the miles. neither near or far. it brings the distance of a physical location to zero so that we are two places at once.. Sorry i havn't posted in a while, im sorry i've made you cry, im sorry,,, I'm sorry i've hurt you, to make you feel rejected, to make you feel without any worth, but i do care, and i care about this blog. but the blog is only a means to erase the physical distance. not to erase feelings... and i'm sorry i made you hurt,,, Every morning, i wish i were diffrent, that i could press control-z and undo all the mistakes i've made.. to undo the bad habits, selfish thoughts, sin, mistakes, anger, in my life... wish i didn't have my job that makes me feel shackled with weigts around my neck, to have pain every morning i awake.. wish i could be consistent in what i do, and stay consistent, to stoip being so imature to the point im no diffrent than a highschool kid. Your so far away... and i feel this dark cloud inching near and near noelle, i can feel weights dragging me to the ground, depressing me into the value of worthlessness. my life feels vain noelle, im lonely without you. i need you noelle, i need you... i'm trying to break free from this depression, to be happy for you again,,, to be who i was,,, but i just feel so vain... so,,, worthless noelle... im sorry for everything :(

Prayerlist:

Help

Picture Post: A Day in Nichols Hills

Earth Day, 2012

Nichols Hills, Oklahoma City

The Old Presbyterian Church off Grand Boulevard

 

 

 

Oh look!!! My best friend!!!!!! =)

  

My redbud tree!! =) My first tree!!! =)

And then... I accidentally left it when I moved dorms for the summer... poor sad little tree =/

I should probably check just in case... it still might be there, but I'm sure it's withered away by now.

Sad Noelle =/

 

The most beautiful, tranquil place ever! This was, amazing......

 

 

SO CUTE! =) My best friend. My little Levi =))

 

Awww let me come join youuu...!! =)

 

My house.... =)))

 

..... your house!!! =)

 

Pretty much the best lunch I've ever had, hands down! =D

I would *love* to go there again.... ;)))

Ocean Away

Hello =)

Here I am an ocean away, a week apart from your last hug, and I'm *still* the only one using this blog. =) made me smile. =)
Just wanted to say that I love you and miss you and am praying for us.

*little hug*

Requests

Will you make me a prayer list before I fly out?
Will you remind me to take a picture of us?
Will you pray with me?
Will you make Saturday the best day ever?
Will you give me a goodbye kiss?
Will you, please? <3

Prayer List

I wanted to make a prayer list online so you can access it when I'm not with you. I loved praying with you yesterday morning.... sunrise and orange juice and kisses, so perfect baby =)) Thankyou for being in my life. Thankyou for being you....

Courage.
The weddings.
Family demands.
Strength at work.
Safety.
A second job.
Getting my book published.
Increased faith.
Patience and a quiet spirit.
Waking up to my alarm.
Health
To be a better daughter
To be a better friend to you...
Wisdom how to be a girlfriend.
Healing for the past.
A car.

That's pretty much everything on my mind right now......
Let me know what I can pray about for you okay? Please?
I love you, Levi. <3

Chapters

Reminded me of what you told me in the field looking at the peices of my Andri Box scattered on the grass.

Thankyou for being a beautiful new chapter in my life, for helping me pick up a pen and starting writing scenes and memories again. Thankyou for holding me as I looked back at the old chapters to reread them and grieve. And thankyou for loving me just the way my book is written. 

I love you.....